Dear R. and L., amv”sh
You recently asked me if I will enjoy my daughter’s shetichyeh upcoming wedding.
We must first answer the question: What does the word enjoy mean?
Is it enjoyable to let the child you love, raised, bathed, held, cared for, and yes, disciplined, and did so many things for marry and move away? No.
Is it enjoyable to make a simcha (joyous occasion) without my parents, of blessed memory alive to be part of it? No.
Is it enjoyable to walk your children to the chuppah with tears and prayers wishing them and so many other singles the gifts to rebuild a nation’s destroyed past and with Hashem’s help create future homes of holiness and Torah inspiration? No.
Is it enjoyable to make a simcha far away so many of the people you feel close to can’t participate? No.
Is it enjoyable to spend tens of thousands of dollars for one night? No.
The problem with the question is that enjoyable is usually equated with fun or pleasurable.
Rather, I have a deep and everlasting gratitude to Hashem (the Almighty) for leading us to find such a refined and special yeshiva man, our son-in-law Shmuel Aharon amv”sh and his exceptional family.
I have a deep, eternal gratitude to Hashem, “Shehechiyanu v’kiyemanu v’higiyanu lazeman hazeh” – “Who has kept us alive and sustained us and brought us to this season”- that my wife shetichyeh and I will be able to walk our daughter Sara Bina shetichyeh to the chuppah happily and healthily.
I have deep, eternal gratitude that my family from near and far will be able to participate and have been helpful in so many different ways in this simcha.
I have deep, eternal gratitude that some of the people we are close to will be able to participate and those who could not showered us with sincere joy, blessings, and good wishes.
I have deep, eternal gratitude to Hashem and to my wife for her many amazing talents. Just to mention a few: her organizational abilities, her grace under pressure, her exquisite taste (well, she did pick me) and her uncommon common sense.
To truly enjoy something is a choice we make. It means focusing on what is important, meaningful, and positive.
So will I enjoy the wedding? Yes, in the deepest, most heartfelt way (and I hear the dessert won’t be too bad either).
P.S. After the fact: the wedding was all of the above and to top it off, we thank G-d that we had an unbelievably enjoyable, amazing, great time too! May you all be blessed with the same!